Just a short story/confession on…myself. I know we all have these moments, especially us ladies. But this one is SOOO ridiculous, I had to share/confess…

I was sitting on the couch last night watching TV eating soup and noticed that I had a jagged feeling on my front tooth that I didn’t remember being there before. So I continuously messed with it, studied it in the mirror; and when the hubby got home I told him to feel it and see if he thought it was chipped badly and if he thought it could be fixed or would I have to have massive oral surgery.

While my poor husband had his finger in my mouth feeling a tooth to confirm that I have indeed chipped it…it crumbled a bit more…now my husband has a piece of my tooth on his finger. Yes, gross.

I begin crying and ranting about how my smile is all I have left that is beautiful on me…and now I have nothing. Yes, those words were coming out of my mouth. I’ll recap for you: I had NO beauty now because I had chipped my tooth. Wow.

My husband begins to tell me that it doesn’t matter and it can be fixed and that I’m still beautiful no matter how my outward appearance might change, and that God sees me as pure beauty…blah blah blah. What a jerk right? Now, I’m furious that he isn’t giving me a pity party about my slightly chipped tooth. I’m mad and I can’t believe that he isn’t saying things like “Your right, this is a major emergency” or “Pack a bag let’s go to the E.R.” Now, I call my mom…surely she can side with me that this is the worst possible thing that could be happening to me. Nothing.

So I go for a run…mad. While I’m on this run, I break down into tears again…but not because of my tooth. Because I let the world into my heart and mind, and because I got mad at my sweet husband for being a Godly man. Yikes stripes.

I kept thinking to myself while running “This is just hormones…I can’t possibly REALLY think that if I lost a tooth I wouldn’t be beautiful.” “Your insane, you need more sleep” “I just lashed out because I was mad I’d have to go through the ordeal of getting it fixed right?” I didn’t want to answer myself, because I knew the answer. Yes, in that moment yesterday, I thought if I lost a tooth I wouldn’t be beautiful to anyone. Even typing it right now, I’m crying!

I struggle like any woman with body image; Satan can sneak into our minds and eat us alive with thoughts of being inadequate. I think I can only confess these things out loud now because of struggles in the past. I know that when I begin to think I can function without God’s help in every aspect of my life…Satan pushes thoughts into my head…like a tooth equaling beauty.

Obviously when I got home from running I was embarrassed and now mad at myself for acting like a child; so I had a little “Come to Jesus meeting” with myself. God just needed to remind me that I can’t go a day without him in my life.

Peaceout,
A

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